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Challenge cultivates character
Young people need encouragement more than affirmation
Stephen Mullan
January 21, 2023
I had never thought about the contrast between “character” and “identity” until I read an article this week by the journalist Lionel Shriver.
This part got my attention:
I submit: the traditional concept of “building character” is out the window.
Once upon a time, a fully realised person was something one became.
… Maturity was the result of accumulated experience (some of it dire) and much trial and error (both comical and tragic), helping explain why wisdom, as opposed to intelligence, was mostly the preserve of the old. We admired the “self-made man”, because character was a creation — one constructed often at great cost. Many a “character-building” adventure, such as joining the Army, was a trial by fire.
And this:
These days, discussion of “character” is largely relegated to fiction workshops and film reviews. Instead, we relentlessly address “identity”, a hollowed-out concept now reduced to membership of the groups into which we were involuntarily born — thereby removing all choice about who we are.
... we now inform children that their selves emerge from the womb fully formed. Their sole mission is to tell us what those selves already are.
My take
Deep down we all know that challenge cultivates character.
This week, I fired off a question to a few group chats, asking friends what had been instrumental in the formation of their own character.
Two themes emerged clearly from the responses: (1) the importance of challenge, and (2) the importance of encouragement.
A few of the replies I received
The importance of challenge
My simple Q&A backed up the observations of Lionel Shriver. It is through our experiences, trials and errors that we become mature and wise.
The idea that challenge cultivates character has been observed throughout human history. The Bible, for example, is filled with examples of maturity as the fruit of suffering and struggle.
We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope.
When we only ever affirm a young person's feelings or sense of identity, we actually hinder rather than help them.
In refusing to challenge them, we close the door on growth. We keep them from becoming someone greater than they presently are.
Without difficulty, young people will not build character. And without encouragement young people will not see that challenges are worth enduring.
The importance of encouragement
I love the concept of encouragement. The word comes from two words and you don’t need to be a genius to figure them out: in and courage. To encourage means to fill with courage. We do this when we speak truth, and provide support, confidence and hope.
Courage is exactly what young people need today, as they face the myriad of problems around them:
They need courage to say no to peer pressure
They need courage to express their beliefs
They need courage to meet new people
They need courage to act with integrity
They need courage to finish hard tasks
They need courage to resolve conflict
Encouragement through the challenges of life, not merely affirmation of identity or feelings, is what will help our young people mature. We ought not to be merely interested in who they are, but more importantly, who they are becoming.
If you know friends who want to become more intentional in how they support young people, please share this newsletter:
Until next time,
Stephen
