Growing up in a hyper-connected, unlimited Internet age

It’s Stephen. I’m back to the writing after a long break!

I’ve been reflecting on my own experience growing up with tech, the internet and social media. It’s crazy how much has changed in 30 years. 

I reckon it was 1993 when we first got a computer. I was about 4. It was one of the old Apple computers. Big and bulky. I remember the car journey back home from Lisburn: six kids stuffed in the back of the family wagon, and a massive box somewhere in the middle of us all.

We were so excited. The computer came with stickers of the old rainbow-striped Apple logo. We kept our Mackintosh in the older brothers’ room and my main memory of it was pushing in floppy disks to play Prince of Persia, Lemmings, Crystal Quest … they were good times. But there was no internet. This was a personal computer not yet tethered to everyone else’s computer. The Mac was very cool but also very limited. That is the key word. 

Limited. 

Kids growing up in the 1990s had limited access to computers and a limited choice of content. We had ‘computer time’, usually a couple of hours before or after dinner. We could only play the dozen games our parents bought us at the store. And it was just the family computer. It wasn’t a gateway to the world. 

Not yet.

By 2001, we got rid of the old Mac. The new computer was a serious upgrade, but most significantly, it was connected to the internet.

Through my teenage years (2003-2009), this new world of online media and information became part of normal life. But for the first few years, things were still pretty limited. If you wanted to watch a football tricks video, you had to download the MP4 first, then wait for the magic of Ronaldinho to load. At first, social media didn’t have any videos – or viral content, for that matter. You just got a feed of what your friends were posting, in the order that they posted it. There were no Shorts or Reels or infinite scrolls. There was just a lot of clicking as you slowly surfed the net. 

But the limits to connectivity and content dramatically soon reduced. By the time I was 16, I wasn’t limited to the family computer. WI-FI had replaced the need for wires and now I had a laptop in my room. I also had a smartphone in my pocket. I was online most evenings, and increasingly throughout the day as mobile data increased. YouTube was in full swing and Facebook was the place to be.

By the early-2010s, as I was stepping into adulthood, we were in a very fast and increasingly unlimited Internet age. The first decade of my life had been almost entirely unconnected from the internet. The second decade, had been consumed by it.

Despite the real struggles of being part of the first generation of Internet consumers (most of our parents had little clue of what was going on), the current generation of children face a different and far more intense kind of challenge.

They are growing up in an Internet age that has few limitations.

Unlike the computer of the 1990s or early 2000s, the computer of the 2020s (most commonly a smartphone) is a now an incredibly unlimited kind of device. Consider the following:

We have unlimited access. Crucially, our computers are no longer wired to some wall. Enabled by wifi, cellular networks (like 5G) and, more recently, satellite broadband (e.g. Elon Musk’s Starlink), we can go online anywhere and anytime. Not just when the family PC is available, for a couple of hours after dinner time. That means the kid with a phone can be online in bed or on the bus. It means the online world lies waiting for them 24/7. And when there is no end to the possible sources of entertainment or thrill, it’s no surprise teenagers are on their screens all day and aren’t going to sleep. FOMO can keep you up all night. Some of the girls we work with in Dreamscheme are on Snapchat 12+ hours per day!

We have unlimited choice. In the 2000s, my menu of games and films was limited to the CDs laying around our computer desk. And even in the early days of online video, films were limited to those available on Netflix. Images were limited to what Google could find in their search engine. But the choice has been accelerating over the past decades and is on an exponential growth curve. As of 2023, estimates suggest that the total amount of digital content on the internet was over 120 zettabytes (1 zettabyte = 1 billion terabytes). In two years, that figure is projected to rise to 175 zettabytes. On YouTube, over 500 hours of video are uploaded every minute. Instagram users post about 95 million photos and videos daily, and over on TikTok, more than 3 million videos are uploaded every day. The internet offers the modern teen pretty much anything they can imagine. And they will soon be able to get what they want without even searching.

With AI generated content, it is now possible to turn a text prompt into any image or video you can imagine. Curiosity will be the only limitation on content. As these tools upgrade over the coming years, there will basically be no limit to what content a person will be able to consume. That is both exciting and, for anyone attempting to raise children, absolutely terrifying. 

Finally, the computers in our hands today give us unlimited access to other people. It is estimated that 5.18 billion people are currently connected to the internet. That’s 65% of everyone on planet Earth. The computer has shifted from being something to share with your siblings or best friend in the privacy of your own home, to something we share with billions of people. Our devices and computers are gateways – into the minds of all manner of people, both good and evil. 

From the comfort of his own bed, a 13 year old with a smartphone and no safeguards can talk to anyone, anywhere, at anytime. The people influencing them are no longer limited to those they know at home, school or at church. Anyone in the world can now become their role model without even knowing their name.

Of course, the internet is here to stay, and opens up all kinds of opportunities for young people. The latest insights and the best ideas of history are in our pocket. It is the modern Library of Alexandria. The potential relationships we can build are far greater than our ancestors. The fact that I can video chat my friend in Norway is an incredible gift. Economically, the internet also opens up huge opportunity for young people, in terms of remote work, e-commerce and creative businesses. And we shouldn’t underestimate the good times that the internet provides.

I for one am grateful to be alive during the age of Memes. 

But all that being said, we adults need to think far more carefully about how we help young people grow up in this hyper-connected world. 

13 year olds are not ready for unlimited access to an unlimited choice of unlimited content. It is a recipe for disaster, whether you want to think in terms of mental health, physical health or soul health. Nor is it safe to let them roam through an online society, free to meet anyone, open to anybody’s influence. 

Where do we start?

At the very least we need to be teaching our young children wisdom and discernment in relation to how we behave online. We probably need to think about the ages and stages we allow our children access to certain kinds of devices. We need to be talking to teenagers about their life online in the same way we would ask about their life at school. And we need to remember the value of limitations. 

We all benefit from healthy boundaries, and our children certainly will. That might look like time limits for internet use, using parental controls or a physical box to store phones after a certain time of day. It might look like a limit of apps we allow on smartphones. It might mean coming up with some rules or rhythms for your family. You could have regular times when everyone unplugs and disconnects – perhaps a day a week or a week every year. 

We also need to invite our children back into the life-giving limitations of the real world around them. Have feasts with candles and music and good food – just the family or some friends. No one else. Explore your neighbourhood. Sure, there are hidden gems all over the world, but there are special wee spots to be found within a few miles of you. I’m sure of it. Serve in your community. Discover what help you can provide. Work in your garden. Make something with your hands. You get the idea.

Let’s encourage our children to embrace where their feet are and then to both enjoy and serve the world that is physically in their reach. And then to use the magic box called The Internet with purpose and a lot of care. 

I think this will be one of the most important things we will need to grapple with going forward:

When should we give our children the keys to something so unlimited as the Internet and how can we prepare them to use it wisely without getting sucked in, soul and all?

Let me know what you think about any of this.

Stephen

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